Wikimedia commons: Jack Delano Photographer, Polish tobacco farmers, September 1, 1940, Connecticut
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Why we cry? because we love and feel. why we scream? because we are heard and loved. why we laugh? because our hearts are pure. (:
Nathalie, thank you for visiting and contributing. You have very nicely expanded what I wrote, extended it into a reflection that touches other spontaneous emotional responses, which may also reflect beautiful depth in the one who is experiencing.
There are always fringes around what is said. We can never say everything. Philosophers prefer to state generalizations in ways that do not admit of counterexamples. If I seem to overgeneralize about laughter, for example, I invite someone to respond that laughter can be cruel.
In this message of yours, we can feel your soul in its truth and beauty.
And beloved friends, please know that Nathalie’s first language is German. Please welcome her with the compassionate arms of people who know what it is like to step into a group of “strangers” and express oneself.
Jeff
I can’t laugh. I feel like I’m trapped in the “valley of the shadow of death.” The waters are anything but still, my soul is tired, and the pasture grass around me provides no nourishment. The fields are scattered with the bones of the dead…just like in Ezekiel’s vision.
I have trouble finding a true and genuine gracious righteousness within the human community. Technically I know that “God” exists, otherwise what is the purpose of all “this”? I can think…my mind functions…I make decisions. Sometimes anger strikes me when confronted with human foolishness and selfish behavior…too often sorrow strikes me when witnessing human barbarism & death.
I am emotional and want to discover real empathy. I know humans can laugh. I have heard it. I have seen it. I used to be happy & laugh when I was a child. I remember those days vacationing on my grandparents ranch playing with the frogs and cattle. I used to enjoy living…being innocent and joy-ful. Now…heaped on top of all the accumulated human depravity that I have experienced in this lifetime…I have assumed the duties and responsibilities as primary caregiver for my domestic partner of 26 years. There is no rejoicing here. Disease is ugly. There is no “beauty” in such a desolate valley…”truth” and “goodness” are vacant words dim and echo-less. There is no shelter from the blazing sun. Rain is long overdue. But I must press on…discipline forces me to…finding a little rest where it may suddenly appear…and just as quickly disappear. My body may be allowed temporary rest, but my mind never does…even when sleeping.
“God” is somewhere I believe, but I have no personal fellowship with IT consciously. I would like to fraternize with “God”, but have yet to truly discover IT. This is my cross set on a hill…no light shines from it…it’s just a lonely, frustrating, stressful place to be.
Infinitely loved Marc, son of God!
Thank you for pouring out your soul. You give us the gift of seeing the struggle of a human life. It gives people the opportunity to pray for you.
I can see the fatigue of constant caring with no relief. I remember when I lived in Geneva, Switzerland, for four months and had the opportunity to meet persons from some of the many international organizations there such as the United Nations and the Red Cross. I heard stories of people who had worked for years on terrible problems, sometimes having to view photographs of atrocities on a daily basis, and struggling to make gradual, evolutionary improvements in extreme situations. After ten years, they needed to leave those battlefields of human suffering. After hearing some of the stories, I formed the belief that no one should do that type of work for more than ten years. But your story tells of 26 years of unremitting service.
And evidence is plentiful of decline in our society, nation, and world. My prayer for you is that you find some way to allow the breath of beauty, and a touch of artistic living to enter your life. You have a good mind. Use it to shift gears, to change the topic. After having to protect yourself psychologically from the abyss of suffering in which you find yourself, the defense mechanisms are thick–and for perfectly good reasons. And . . . I know . . . that the spirit of God within you is still there . . . ready to respond to your efforts to re-open the channel of communication. Just your affirmation, repeated affirmation, repeated a zillion times a day, of the fact of that presence . . . will eventually lead to your realization of the truth of that presence in your own experience.
Many years ago I read The Way of a Pilgrim with a class. It was a long and winding story of a person who sought how to “pray constantly.” I would not use the simple prayer that he used, but would find or fashion another more suited to my own philosophy of living. But he began to repeat it, increasingly, until it filled his soul. One of the students in class took up the same practice, with amazingly beautiful results.
I have no idea whether this recommendation is right for you. But I tell you that your need will inhabit my soul at length.
Thank you again for the treasure of your sharing, with all its poetic depth and pathos. Please send to my email the address where I should have a copy of my new book sent to you, if you don’t already have one. I cannot help rejoicing in you, the indwelt personality whom I have known and loved from decades ago. The deepest structure of you comes straight from God, and it is constant. It does not decay as the mind-body system can be worn down.
I think of a photograph that will never leave me. It shows a couple dozen Jewish men with their prisoner uniforms on, freshly admitted to the Nazi camp in Buchenwald. Their quality, their nobility shines forth eternally. Soon enough they would be worn down, so that their shining quality would be far less evident.
I think of Psalm 22, which begins in the outcry of the soul, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” Later in the Psalm we read of the victorious rejoicing of the man who was rescued from his attackers.” In the case of Jesus, the triumph came after death.
But I think also of my beloved Hagiko, my wife who cared amazingly for her mother in Japan, traveling their many times for extended periods of time during that wonderful mother’s decline through the long-dragged out ending of dementia. And how relieved was Hagiko when that labor of care was over. The more we have invested in caring for someone, the deeper is our grief and the longer our process of recovery. But it does come.
Well, Marc, soul-to-soul, I look forward to such recovery as may be possible for you in this life. The facts are what they are. History is history, and destiny is destiny.
For Now,
Your brother into eternity,
Jeff
The shadows of death are just as important as the light of purity. I believe that there is darkness in me and I am grateful for the darkness I would not know the light. My thoughts can be dark I have a lot of dark thoughts and I find your text very beautiful. My brother wanted to help me when I was in a time when there was a lot of darkness and illness in me and gave me a movie he is called nosso lar. Darkness is a constant companion without him I would not be what I am now. I love to see the shadows of the darkness it takes my courage not to close my eyes. In my dark times no one would be able to help me directly because I believe in a quote the Buddha Never ceases hate by hatred, hate ceases through love. I am very angry with God 🙂 but I believe there is no need to justify myself.
There is a depth of darkness that can be profoundly comforting and enveloping and wonderful.
But darkness can also refer to evil and sin. We may fall into such deeds, or be the victim of such deeds. Thoughts that lead our minds to this kind of darkness or these memories can be a problem, because we can not simply make such thoughts stop. What we can do is to add something positive into the stream of consciousness and increasingly put our main attention on the thought of truth, beauty, and goodness.
Philosophy helps us reflect on evil and sin get a cosmic perspective on the rough evolutionary process in which we find ourselves. The more we can identify with wisdom, the more that anger at God ceases as we make room in our hearts to receive him.
When I find myself caught in an unbeautiful emotion, one of my ways of dealing with it is to deepen my hospitality. I believe in the presence of the spirit of God within, but sometimes I believe without feeling, without the experience of truth and love. In order for me to regain my happiness and progressive momentum, I can become a better host to the spirit within; and this I do by activating the most God-like qualities in myself to welcome the spirit, to make a warm, friendly, homey place for him.
The quote from the Buddha that you gave comes from the very beginning of the Dhammapada. Through your loving hospitality toward the divine spirit, your anger toward God will cease.
Thank you for your messages they touch me very much. Jeffrey thank you that I was introduced in this group it is very helpful.
Hi Nathalie! It is always refreshing to hear from new people in the group!
Dear Marc Denton,
I can feel your intense sorrow and isolation in your words. I care about you, though I have not had the opportunity to meet you in person. If you would take a moment and close your eyes, and be silent for a few minutes to start, think of The Spirit of God. Deep breathe at this time, and whenever you feel anxious. In God, we breathe, and this is the most important necessity for our body, though we must have food, shelter and clothing. Being bi-polr, I have had wild manias– when I did things that I never would have done.
Then on the other side, I have had deep dark depressions, that I have not been able to escape without medicine. Only from mid-December of 2012 have I had medicine to control my horrible swings up and down. I was very lucky. I have been ill since !970, 7th grade grammar school and have had many sorts of medicines, some which had many severe side-effects. I never knew that I could ever feel half-way human for an extended period of time, until I found a complex cocktail of pills that keeps the chemicals in my mind in order, but unlike you, I am able to cry. Not actually simply talking about laughing or crying, but about feeling human. Many times when a person lacks a certain common response he/she feels empty… like who am I, or what am I. Many times, too, I have gone off of medicines because of the hard to accept side-effects– inability to speak, short-term memory, severe weight gain…. I shall pray , and pray, and pray for you, until I hear that you, Marc Denton, are well. So, let us know from time to time how you are doing. I deep breathe all the time, except when I can be upset. When upset, I can breathe shallowly. Being upset comes rarely now. There is a light at the end of your dark tunnel. I shall be talking to God about you. I have a long prayer list that has many people on it, and the people on it change, many for the better! God loves you overwhelmingly. Now that I know of you, I love and care fore you, also.
And may you have the power to understand…. how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is…. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:18-19
I have been exploring the nature of human humor since writing my original post. I’ve tried to understand the photograph which was paired with Jeffery’s essay and wondered why I felt no relationship with the photo.
Recently, I went to the grocery store and spoke with two employees who work there. Even though the engagement was somewhat brief (because they were working) I enjoyed the conversation. It made me “happy” to greet and speak with them. It was a “genuine” experience with another human being.
My partner’s rented wheel chair arrived the other day to my immense “relief.” I felt “happy” for this loaned gift from Medicare. Since Saturday and Sunday was warm and sunny I was able to take him outside to complete some chores and celebrate Valintines Day. This made me very happy and gives me good memories.
Joyfullness seems to appear in small, unobtrusive moments. For me (as I have been recently forced to mature) happiness and laughter are not obvious and loud reactions to experiences in the external environment. Real “laughter” and “joyfulness” does not assume the superficial qualities of the comic appearing on a public stage. This type of humor has no lasting presence or meaning. Humor and joy appear to me as a quiet, inner, personal experience of the observer – and it sticks with you as a permanent mark on your soul.
I think genuine happiness, true humor, real joy is dependent on the quality of our individual graft into the root stock of authentic loving-kindness. Each personalities’ experience is different. The trial is extremely “personal.”
It is a huge leap for humans to accept the existence of a Universal Deity Absolute, and this “God” as being the author of Love. “Faith” is not an easy quality to develop. It is not an experience like putting on your overcoat. If we can achieve this realization (even if it is a childlike superficial one) then we are on the road to the continuing discovery of “kinship” and the “Kingdom of Heaven” – acceptance, respect and love of our neighbor. Real, authentic “happiness” is born directly out of this rootstock.
If the symbol of the butterfly could appear in the killing fields of the concentration camps of World War II then there is real hope for humanity. We are now just tadpoles is a huge ocean and we have a long way to develop.
For now, the experiment into the discovery of “humor” will continue. Perhaps “joy” and “laughter” is best experienced through the eyes of “brotherhood” – with “brotherhood” being our acceptness of the universality of human “kinship” and our positive interaction with the larger Cosmos.
I thought that Jeff’s question, “Why laugh?” would bring about answers on a happier note.
Since the comments were mostly dark, I thought that I would write a bit to you, truly about laughter. Laughter makes the soul merry. It can come for a variety of reasons. Maybe, someone finds that they worked on a very hard job, and if they knew one bit more information, it could have been a lot easier. Laughing can be contagious and cause others to laugh. We laugh because we are happy and something strikes us as funny at a moment in time.
I remember one time looking at the word “foot,” caused me to laugh as some other words do, because the word does not look like a real word at the time, or it looks like a misspelled word.
Laughter is spontaneous! It can change a tense moment into a happy moment. Laughter makes us feel better, and scientists have proof that laughter is good for the human body by releasing natural chemicals that exist in the body, such as endorphins. Also, laughter can cause healing, it takes our minds off of our troubles, it is healing in itself!
Thank you Paula! “A merry heart does good like a medicine.”
Bravo, Marc! You courageously shared a dark night of the soul. And here I find you proclaiming truth with sensitivity, subtlety, insight, and power, taking the conversation to a new level. Thank you very much.
Laughter appears on several levels in human experiences. It appears as a safety value to release ruinous emotional energies, but it also appears as an expression of joy.
On the material level, we experience this laughter when we have accomplished some significant material objective. Thus when a person as a part of a tem achieves a worthy material goal such as winning a basketball tournament, we see this laughter expressed, sometimes with tears of joy.
On the emotional level which most of us are familiar with, today being Valentine’s day, the experience of sharing this day with a loved one romantically, brings forth emotional laughter of exquisite happiness.
Also when emotions are locked in turmoil because of the stresses of life, laughter serves as a safety value, releasing dangerous accumulations of emotional energies. Often times after this release of mounting emotional energies, the problem causing the accumulation of unhealthy stress appears to have diminished.
On the intellectual level, when someone accomplishes a great intellectual work such as the one Jeff recently completed in his book, “Living in Truth, Beauty, and Goodness” which begins the process of unifying the concepts of truth with the concepts of facts, laughter of an intellectual nature bubbles up. Sometimes this kind of laughter may be suppressed because of the lack of intellectual recognition by one’s peers.
On the moral level, when a difficult moral choice is made that seems to be in the minority, and when such a choice is finally vindicated, the moral consciousness blossoms into the laugher of moral nobility.
Finally there is the supreme laughter of spiritual joy. This laugher bursts fourth spontaneously in the soul when the soul attains and realizes that it has learned to do the Father’s will in perfection. Such an attainment and realization can not be contained within the soul, thus the melody of this joy flows out of the soul in spiritual laughter.
We thank the Father for his wisdom and goodness for providing us with laugher which helps us on some many levels.
Dr. Perry
Very nice addition, filling out a more adequate reflection on the topic.
It is the laugh I remember when I was a child. Today I remember that I am a child who can laugh.
Thank you very much for this conversation.
That this post is able to give you this memory fulfills the purpose of this weblog.