Thank you for joining this conversation, and welcome to my first blogpost! The launch date is April 14, 2014, and I plan to post twice a week, normally Monday and Thursday mornings.
My purpose in blogging is to help people live more wonderfully integrated lives. The approach is experiential, and it involves developing a philosophy of living. We explore concepts which everyone is free to modify to fit what he or she feels good about putting into practice. Then we find creative ways to apply these concepts in our lives. This approach leads to discoveries in truth, beauty, and goodness–discoveries worth sharing.
I invite you to begin by recalling times when you are living at your best. How would you describe it? Our descriptions will differ, but they will also overlap. If you have a minute, start making notes about these times right now. Recalling experience puts us in touch with intuition–the home base from which to grow.
I’ll discuss a nice example next time, but you’ll profit most if you sketch your own description first. Having an example makes things easier to understand, but it also carries a risk: there is a tendency to imitate the example instead of recalling our own peak experiences. If you like, please share your description as a comment on this post. For those who are ready to see the example now, thank you for your patience.
I hope today is already–or will become–one of those times when you are living at your best.
The photo of Polish tobacco farmers in front of their harvest is from Ars Publik: http://arspublik-images.s3.amazonaws.com/2009/10/public-domain-farmer-wife-s.jpg
As someone who was once troubled by self-doubt and an uncontrollable urge to judge myself and others, I know too well the sadness which can result from these bad mental habits.
I also know the joy of living life in the moment with (mental) eyes wide open wide, standing upon, but not dwelling on, all past achievements and failings. Open to, but not worrying about the future before you.
To me, this is and important posture if one is to live life at its best.
Having known you for decades utterly unaware of this problem you have overcome, I’m moved by your openness. Such sincerity enables this conversation to fulfill its potentials.
I’m especially impressed by what you have developed as an approach to living in the moment: your way wonderfully correlates past, present, and future.
As someone who was once troubled by self-doubt and an uncontrollable urge to judge myself and others, I know too well the sadness which can result from these bad mental habits.
I also know the joy of living life in the moment with (mental) eyes wide open wide, standing upon, but not dwelling on, all past achievements and failings. Open to, but not worrying about the future before you.
To me, this is and important posture if one is to live life at its best.
Having known you for decades utterly unaware of this problem you have overcome, I’m moved by your openness. Such sincerity enables this conversation to fulfill its potentials.
I’m especially impressed by what you have developed as an approach to living in the moment: your way wonderfully correlates past, present, and future.
Living in Love……Goodness, Truth, Beauty and Love………
Dear Jeff, this is so like you…wonderful idea!
I would council all my brothers and sisters to walk a quiet path with a dear friend while discussing the love of our Father and see what happens! Life on our planet is short, don’t put off telling and showing those around you the Goodness of our Father. Many Blessings to all…tonia
Isn’t it nice to have your friends participate in such an encouraging way as you launch a new project!
Living in Love……Goodness, Truth, Beauty and Love………
Dear Jeff, this is so like you…wonderful idea!
I would council all my brothers and sisters to walk a quiet path with a dear friend while discussing the love of our Father and see what happens! Life on our planet is short, don’t put off telling and showing those around you the Goodness of our Father. Many Blessings to all…tonia
Isn’t it nice to have your friends participate in such an encouraging way as you launch a new project!
I rely on the tried-and-true methodology of Visualization employed by Olympic coaches along with meditation to help me live my best every day. No one single day will be identical to any other. With that simple fact in mind, I focus essentially on the present with a vision of doing good to others. Mother Teresa also writes in her book this simple goal should be on everyone’s list. There is no greater satisfaction, for me at least, than in doing good to others.
Pat, thank you so much for this helpful comment! Everyone wants to know How; and visualization is indeed a powerful technique. What strikes me here are two things. First, you combine visualization with the realization that each day is unique. This openness to surprise keeps visualization from enforcing a static script in a situation where interaction in a dynamic environment is essential. Second, wholehearted dedication to doing good to others transforms a technology of success into the joy and liberty of divine living.
I rely on the tried-and-true methodology of Visualization employed by Olympic coaches along with meditation to help me live my best every day. No one single day will be identical to any other. With that simple fact in mind, I focus essentially on the present with a vision of doing good to others. Mother Teresa also writes in her book this simple goal should be on everyone’s list. There is no greater satisfaction, for me at least, than in doing good to others.
Pat, thank you so much for this helpful comment! Everyone wants to know How; and visualization is indeed a powerful technique. What strikes me here are two things. First, you combine visualization with the realization that each day is unique. This openness to surprise keeps visualization from enforcing a static script in a situation where interaction in a dynamic environment is essential. Second, wholehearted dedication to doing good to others transforms a technology of success into the joy and liberty of divine living.
Me siento privilegiado de poder recibir tus enseñanzas y experiencias, puedes estar seguro que las compartiré con mis estudiantes de los dos grupos de estudio.
Que nuestro Padre Celestial te dirija en esta importante tarea.
Recibe un afectuoso abrazo de este amigo.
Google translate has a reputation for handling Spanish very well:
I feel privileged to receive your lessons and experiences, you may be sure that I will share with my students in the two study groups.
May our Heavenly Father lead in this important task.
Receive a warm embrace from this friend.
Me siento privilegiado de poder recibir tus enseñanzas y experiencias, puedes estar seguro que las compartiré con mis estudiantes de los dos grupos de estudio.
Que nuestro Padre Celestial te dirija en esta importante tarea.
Recibe un afectuoso abrazo de este amigo.
Google translate has a reputation for handling Spanish very well:
I feel privileged to receive your lessons and experiences, you may be sure that I will share with my students in the two study groups.
May our Heavenly Father lead in this important task.
Receive a warm embrace from this friend.
I remember feeling that I was living my fullest as I sat back and watched people flood into the Young Actor’s Studio for an International Dance Festival. Parents, children, teachers stuffed themselves into the space to watch children from different nationalities bring their heritage to life through dance. Just before the event started, a bus full of international teachers arrived from Kent State! The place erupted in applause for our surprise guests. People moved to sit on the floor so that they could offer their seats to these who had travelled from around the world to be a part of teaching our children here. The children danced, played African drums, read poetry. At the end of the event we prayed for world peace. I felt fully alive being with a group of people of all ages and backgrounds, united in celebrating our one global family.
Thanks, Janet, for sharing this peak experience, which wonderfully combines contemplation, supreme values, and the social dimension! Having seen your dynamism of movement as you lead a group in prayer, I can imagine your identifying with this memorable occasion.
I remember feeling that I was living my fullest as I sat back and watched people flood into the Young Actor’s Studio for an International Dance Festival. Parents, children, teachers stuffed themselves into the space to watch children from different nationalities bring their heritage to life through dance. Just before the event started, a bus full of international teachers arrived from Kent State! The place erupted in applause for our surprise guests. People moved to sit on the floor so that they could offer their seats to these who had travelled from around the world to be a part of teaching our children here. The children danced, played African drums, read poetry. At the end of the event we prayed for world peace. I felt fully alive being with a group of people of all ages and backgrounds, united in celebrating our one global family.
Thanks, Janet, for sharing this peak experience, which wonderfully combines contemplation, supreme values, and the social dimension! Having seen your dynamism of movement as you lead a group in prayer, I can imagine your identifying with this memorable occasion.
I don´t think I have ever lived at my best if I take into account all of the aspects of living at one´s best. However, as I age I think I am “living at my better” and aiming for the best. And that´s about the best I can do, ha ha.
Thank you, Joy, for this profound comment, which takes our conversation forward into the next few posts. Trying to take all the aspects into account is one of the problems that I have experienced, too; I’m hoping to take you all through a process that enables you to experience the integration of those aspects in a way that has become accessible to me only recently. This philosophy of living comes with a list of aspects. I’m keenly looking forward to seeing how satisfying this series will be for Joy, assuming that she finds the time and interest to keep up with this conversation.
On Thursday I’ll present the vivid example (postponed in today’s post) of living at your best. The next two scheduled posts are on the way of simplicity and paths of thoroughness–a combination that directly addresses Joy’s profound comment.
I don´t think I have ever lived at my best if I take into account all of the aspects of living at one´s best. However, as I age I think I am “living at my better” and aiming for the best. And that´s about the best I can do, ha ha.
Thank you, Joy, for this profound comment, which takes our conversation forward into the next few posts. Trying to take all the aspects into account is one of the problems that I have experienced, too; I’m hoping to take you all through a process that enables you to experience the integration of those aspects in a way that has become accessible to me only recently. This philosophy of living comes with a list of aspects. I’m keenly looking forward to seeing how satisfying this series will be for Joy, assuming that she finds the time and interest to keep up with this conversation.
On Thursday I’ll present the vivid example (postponed in today’s post) of living at your best. The next two scheduled posts are on the way of simplicity and paths of thoroughness–a combination that directly addresses Joy’s profound comment.
I feel today is my best day. I asked God about a week ago, very sincerely, for help with taking care of myself better. Starting last Tuesday I got really sick. There’s nothing like being sick to help you make some new resolutions about life.
Thank you God for your infinite wisdom!
I’m delighted that this is your best day! Thank you for sharing. And I also appreciate your responsiveness to wisdom. Best wishes for health integrated with all the other values in your life!
I feel today is my best day. I asked God about a week ago, very sincerely, for help with taking care of myself better. Starting last Tuesday I got really sick. There’s nothing like being sick to help you make some new resolutions about life.
Thank you God for your infinite wisdom!
I’m delighted that this is your best day! Thank you for sharing. And I also appreciate your responsiveness to wisdom. Best wishes for health integrated with all the other values in your life!
I know I am living at my best when I feel at my best. It’s a spiritual feeling. It’s a feeling of cheerfulness and hope. It’s a sense of possibilities. It’s a gladness and joy to be alive. It’s having a purpose. And for me not a day goes by without a purpose – I am always doing something. I map out my day just before I get up. And off I go and wonder what God has in store for me today. I wonder what he would have me do for him today. It’s that inward certainty about things no matter what is going on outwardly. I wish you the best too!
Congratulations with your mature spirituality! I’m delighted by the juxtaposition of two things you wrote: on the one hand, wondering what God would have you do; on the other hand, inward certainty. I believe that when the relation with God is full, you really can experience that strong, sustaining reality as you open up your inquiry into his will. Thank you for your good wishes. For me it has been a fabulous day seeing the marvelous conversation that sprung up on day one. Thanks to all who participate, silently or in writing.
I know I am living at my best when I feel at my best. It’s a spiritual feeling. It’s a feeling of cheerfulness and hope. It’s a sense of possibilities. It’s a gladness and joy to be alive. It’s having a purpose. And for me not a day goes by without a purpose – I am always doing something. I map out my day just before I get up. And off I go and wonder what God has in store for me today. I wonder what he would have me do for him today. It’s that inward certainty about things no matter what is going on outwardly. I wish you the best too!
Congratulations with your mature spirituality! I’m delighted by the juxtaposition of two things you wrote: on the one hand, wondering what God would have you do; on the other hand, inward certainty. I believe that when the relation with God is full, you really can experience that strong, sustaining reality as you open up your inquiry into his will. Thank you for your good wishes. For me it has been a fabulous day seeing the marvelous conversation that sprung up on day one. Thanks to all who participate, silently or in writing.
Living at my best involves a kind of clarity where I am functioning fluidly, without doubt, without question. But there is another important part, too: any “I” that is operational is dissolved. There is no singularity, only relationality, and I mean relationality in any context.
But that is merely a formula, possibly a hopeful description. We need to flesh some things out. Do we mean best in a functional context, as when I am working, playing a sport, doing an art or a craft, or something of that sort? Or do we mean those times when everything seems to click, or connect — what might be called more generally synchronicity?
When I am teaching I know clearly well when things are going well — when I have connected with my students. That is one thing. And then I recall those moments such as falling in love, when passion is really apparent, and I feel like I can’t do wrong. Those two experiences seem to differ only insofar as one is a very public experience, the other is more intimate.
But then there are those times when we are doing a very prescribed task and it clicks in a similar way. For example, when I am playing soccer really well.
What might all of these have in common? My only guess is what I offered in the beginning: a dissolve of my singularity into broader relational context, but where my “I” relates this all in a positive experience so that it becomes something of value, and which I can, in retrospect, relate it back as value.
What a delight to see such an interesting set of examples plus a philosophical effort to find what they have in common! Thanks, Charlie, for taking the time to give us something so thoughtful. Two thoughts come to mind. First, when people talk about being “in the zone,” the examples align with some of yours. The classic discussion uses the term “flow.” According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in the paradigm case, e.g., for an athlete or mountain climber, a person of high skill faces a high challenge, just at a level which calls forth one’s best. “The main dimensions of flow—intense involvement, deep concentration, clarity of goals and feedback, loss of a sense of time, lack of self-consciousness and transcendence of a sense of self, leading to an autotelic, that is, intrinsically rewarding experience—are recognized in more or less the same form by people the world over.” The goals are clear, so that the feedback one immediately receives enables one’s ongoing response to adjust to the continually updated situation.
Here there is no sense of self as isolated to any degree from involvement with the object/setting/scene/other (in the most general sense). Your examples of teaching and falling in love imply relationality in a deeper sense. I’d like to see you say a little more about that.
Last thought: Is it possible that we can be (more or less) self-deceived when we experience things flowing so smoothly, going so well?
Once again, Charlie, thanks for this thoughtful and thought-provoking response!
Going along with some of the previous comments and from a retrospective/collective point of view, feeling at my best seems to have been somewhat relative for me. This is probably because it has been tightly linked to my personal growth. But if I close my eyes and imagine myself at the moment when l felt at my best it felt like an end in itself. I got much leverage from it.
Also, I would say a feeling of satisfaction accompanies in almost every instance. This satisfaction has been spiritual, intellectual, physical or a combination of these but one generally seems to dominate. When the spiritual satisfaction seems to be the dominant one it is the most powerful and enriching for me…Surprise!
Isn’t it wonderful that one person should have times of living at her best that are diverse! And that these times develop as we grow! Already I have found stimulus to new growth in contemplating and responding (in words and beyond) to what you all have written in reply to this first post! As I contemplate what we can do together in the coming year, I am humbled and grateful.
I want to follow up on the idea of being deceived, but take it in a slightly different direction. The answer is of course, yes, and, unfortunately, sometimes the situations that allows for “flow” can be disastrous. I’m thinking of a really powerful speech, or some event, that is overwhelming and catches everyone as if on a wave. When we are attuned to the world in such a way that we can lose ourselves, the danger seems to be captured in the question, “lose ourselves to what?” Inasmuch as this project is about truth, beauty, and goodness, we might hope that it would be only such values and qualities that could capture us in such a way. However, we all know too many examples where we can loose ourselves in a collective wave of wretched ideas and actions. One way out seems to be the guarded individualism produced by modernist reason. While this may indeed keep us from evil, I don’t know that it can open us to any higher mode of living than that of the rationalist. When I am experiencing beauty I want to utterly swept away. I don’t want to insist that all experiences are first mediated through a series of questions about whether or not what I am experiencing is beautiful. So in short, I prefer the thickness of such an embodied, swelling-up within a situation wherein I as a singularity am dissolved, at least for a little while.
The best I can do as a means to ensure that attunement is to the best of things, and not the worst, is to cultivate myself. These punctuated moments are meaningful but rare, which means that there is a lot of time to reflect upon, and work on, who and what I am — what kind of person I aspire to be. I take this to be part of living artfully. The idea of poiesis has captured my imagination in this regard for some time. More particularly, the idea of poietic understanding, of bringing things about in their best way, is to develop a sensitivity to the world around one. Sadly, I find our age of ready-made information and facts to be undermining this skill. Living artfully — taking one’s life as art — is to take this skill seriously, as opposed to falling into the trappings of media and such.
There is a heck of a lot to say about this that would really warrant a long conversation. I hope I didn’t evade your question. If I did, let me know.
Charlie, thank you so much for receiving my question and responding so thoughtfully! I have been thinking about your earlier comment and my question to you from time to time, including early this morning. You very nicely acknowledged my concern about truth; and I’m greatly moved by your insight: ongoing personal growth as the proper foundation for these times of living radiantly. There is a jetstream of flowing truth that we have every right to claim, to enjoy, to feel good about.
At the same time, there is usually a foundation for such experience–awareness of fact. This where the question of truth arises on a different level. For example, the empathy exercised even by helping professionals is nowhere as good as those professionals think it is. But those professionals can learn to empathize will if they receive training in validating the cognitive and affective dimensions of communication.
Nevertheless, we must not be so idealistic as to deny ourselves the satisfactions of progressive living. In a balanced life, given the flux of daily experience, there is a reasonable level of attention to understanding others, a level which serves as an adequate foundation for the higher experience of truth that you have so beautifully brought forward. I take it that an aspect of artistic living involves developing a sense of when enough is enough (for example, enough understanding of the other person). Artistic living is part of the seven-fold path in this philosophy of living, and I keenly hope for your interaction on that topic. Each unit on this seven-fold path (beginning with scientific living) has some connection with each other unit; I encourage you to bring forward such connections as you see.
Empathy is vital. Over the years I have increasingly distanced myself from modernist rationality and ethics, for a more robust, embodied, and enlivened way of living morally and expressively. I have adopted a personal credo: “persons not principles”. While it may be overly pithy and simplistic it keeps me vigilantly aware of my connection to others so that their feelings become a real part of my world. And you observation of the art of that — of knowing when to comfort and knowing when to let go — is good, but no easy task. Universalist ethics makes that easy, but more and more I am appreciating the belief that “restoring life to its original difficulty”, to steal a riff from John Caputo, is closer to living well than finding an easy solution to life’s problems.
I also like to make a distinction between happiness and joy. When I am at my best I feel joy, and by that I mean a warm feeling that extends in time, and that brings so many elements together into a rich experience. Happiness–and I don’t mean to devalue it–erupts and dissolves, and it seems to require fewer elements. Joy is brings appreciation to bear, and by this I mean appreciation in both of its common uses: I appreciate the goodness of which I am a part, but it also brings value into being. Having a fine meal may make me happy, but sharing it with another, building the experience, I would hopefully find a lasting joy; the experience would likely be better, and I have what is likely a more enduring memory. So that may not be a very fecund example, but I hope the idea is at least beginning to surface.
Such a simple credo as you have formed for yourself functions well partly because it directs you wisely into life’s difficulties. As you recall the credo, you recall this symbol of philosophical progress that has been meaningful to you, and one that you find continues to illuminate your path. For me, one such maxim is “Do to others as you would have others do unto you.”
I’m glad that you enjoy such a full experience of joy!
Living at my best involves a kind of clarity where I am functioning fluidly, without doubt, without question. But there is another important part, too: any “I” that is operational is dissolved. There is no singularity, only relationality, and I mean relationality in any context.
But that is merely a formula, possibly a hopeful description. We need to flesh some things out. Do we mean best in a functional context, as when I am working, playing a sport, doing an art or a craft, or something of that sort? Or do we mean those times when everything seems to click, or connect — what might be called more generally synchronicity?
When I am teaching I know clearly well when things are going well — when I have connected with my students. That is one thing. And then I recall those moments such as falling in love, when passion is really apparent, and I feel like I can’t do wrong. Those two experiences seem to differ only insofar as one is a very public experience, the other is more intimate.
But then there are those times when we are doing a very prescribed task and it clicks in a similar way. For example, when I am playing soccer really well.
What might all of these have in common? My only guess is what I offered in the beginning: a dissolve of my singularity into broader relational context, but where my “I” relates this all in a positive experience so that it becomes something of value, and which I can, in retrospect, relate it back as value.
What a delight to see such an interesting set of examples plus a philosophical effort to find what they have in common! Thanks, Charlie, for taking the time to give us something so thoughtful. Two thoughts come to mind. First, when people talk about being “in the zone,” the examples align with some of yours. The classic discussion uses the term “flow.” According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in the paradigm case, e.g., for an athlete or mountain climber, a person of high skill faces a high challenge, just at a level which calls forth one’s best. “The main dimensions of flow—intense involvement, deep concentration, clarity of goals and feedback, loss of a sense of time, lack of self-consciousness and transcendence of a sense of self, leading to an autotelic, that is, intrinsically rewarding experience—are recognized in more or less the same form by people the world over.” The goals are clear, so that the feedback one immediately receives enables one’s ongoing response to adjust to the continually updated situation.
Here there is no sense of self as isolated to any degree from involvement with the object/setting/scene/other (in the most general sense). Your examples of teaching and falling in love imply relationality in a deeper sense. I’d like to see you say a little more about that.
Last thought: Is it possible that we can be (more or less) self-deceived when we experience things flowing so smoothly, going so well?
Once again, Charlie, thanks for this thoughtful and thought-provoking response!
Going along with some of the previous comments and from a retrospective/collective point of view, feeling at my best seems to have been somewhat relative for me. This is probably because it has been tightly linked to my personal growth. But if I close my eyes and imagine myself at the moment when l felt at my best it felt like an end in itself. I got much leverage from it.
Also, I would say a feeling of satisfaction accompanies in almost every instance. This satisfaction has been spiritual, intellectual, physical or a combination of these but one generally seems to dominate. When the spiritual satisfaction seems to be the dominant one it is the most powerful and enriching for me…Surprise!
Isn’t it wonderful that one person should have times of living at her best that are diverse! And that these times develop as we grow! Already I have found stimulus to new growth in contemplating and responding (in words and beyond) to what you all have written in reply to this first post! As I contemplate what we can do together in the coming year, I am humbled and grateful.
I want to follow up on the idea of being deceived, but take it in a slightly different direction. The answer is of course, yes, and, unfortunately, sometimes the situations that allows for “flow” can be disastrous. I’m thinking of a really powerful speech, or some event, that is overwhelming and catches everyone as if on a wave. When we are attuned to the world in such a way that we can lose ourselves, the danger seems to be captured in the question, “lose ourselves to what?” Inasmuch as this project is about truth, beauty, and goodness, we might hope that it would be only such values and qualities that could capture us in such a way. However, we all know too many examples where we can loose ourselves in a collective wave of wretched ideas and actions. One way out seems to be the guarded individualism produced by modernist reason. While this may indeed keep us from evil, I don’t know that it can open us to any higher mode of living than that of the rationalist. When I am experiencing beauty I want to utterly swept away. I don’t want to insist that all experiences are first mediated through a series of questions about whether or not what I am experiencing is beautiful. So in short, I prefer the thickness of such an embodied, swelling-up within a situation wherein I as a singularity am dissolved, at least for a little while.
The best I can do as a means to ensure that attunement is to the best of things, and not the worst, is to cultivate myself. These punctuated moments are meaningful but rare, which means that there is a lot of time to reflect upon, and work on, who and what I am — what kind of person I aspire to be. I take this to be part of living artfully. The idea of poiesis has captured my imagination in this regard for some time. More particularly, the idea of poietic understanding, of bringing things about in their best way, is to develop a sensitivity to the world around one. Sadly, I find our age of ready-made information and facts to be undermining this skill. Living artfully — taking one’s life as art — is to take this skill seriously, as opposed to falling into the trappings of media and such.
There is a heck of a lot to say about this that would really warrant a long conversation. I hope I didn’t evade your question. If I did, let me know.
Charlie, thank you so much for receiving my question and responding so thoughtfully! I have been thinking about your earlier comment and my question to you from time to time, including early this morning. You very nicely acknowledged my concern about truth; and I’m greatly moved by your insight: ongoing personal growth as the proper foundation for these times of living radiantly. There is a jetstream of flowing truth that we have every right to claim, to enjoy, to feel good about.
At the same time, there is usually a foundation for such experience–awareness of fact. This where the question of truth arises on a different level. For example, the empathy exercised even by helping professionals is nowhere as good as those professionals think it is. But those professionals can learn to empathize will if they receive training in validating the cognitive and affective dimensions of communication.
Nevertheless, we must not be so idealistic as to deny ourselves the satisfactions of progressive living. In a balanced life, given the flux of daily experience, there is a reasonable level of attention to understanding others, a level which serves as an adequate foundation for the higher experience of truth that you have so beautifully brought forward. I take it that an aspect of artistic living involves developing a sense of when enough is enough (for example, enough understanding of the other person). Artistic living is part of the seven-fold path in this philosophy of living, and I keenly hope for your interaction on that topic. Each unit on this seven-fold path (beginning with scientific living) has some connection with each other unit; I encourage you to bring forward such connections as you see.
Empathy is vital. Over the years I have increasingly distanced myself from modernist rationality and ethics, for a more robust, embodied, and enlivened way of living morally and expressively. I have adopted a personal credo: “persons not principles”. While it may be overly pithy and simplistic it keeps me vigilantly aware of my connection to others so that their feelings become a real part of my world. And you observation of the art of that — of knowing when to comfort and knowing when to let go — is good, but no easy task. Universalist ethics makes that easy, but more and more I am appreciating the belief that “restoring life to its original difficulty”, to steal a riff from John Caputo, is closer to living well than finding an easy solution to life’s problems.
I also like to make a distinction between happiness and joy. When I am at my best I feel joy, and by that I mean a warm feeling that extends in time, and that brings so many elements together into a rich experience. Happiness–and I don’t mean to devalue it–erupts and dissolves, and it seems to require fewer elements. Joy is brings appreciation to bear, and by this I mean appreciation in both of its common uses: I appreciate the goodness of which I am a part, but it also brings value into being. Having a fine meal may make me happy, but sharing it with another, building the experience, I would hopefully find a lasting joy; the experience would likely be better, and I have what is likely a more enduring memory. So that may not be a very fecund example, but I hope the idea is at least beginning to surface.
Such a simple credo as you have formed for yourself functions well partly because it directs you wisely into life’s difficulties. As you recall the credo, you recall this symbol of philosophical progress that has been meaningful to you, and one that you find continues to illuminate your path. For me, one such maxim is “Do to others as you would have others do unto you.”
I’m glad that you enjoy such a full experience of joy!
As always, Jeff, I am inspired by your enthusiasm for truth, beauty, and goodness. As I celebrate the life of my earthly Father as he makes his way to our Heavenly Father and grieve the temporary loss of his presence, I can attest that when I am living my best life, I am loving and being loved. My will is aligned with the Father’s will at all times, under all circumstances, and my desire to represent the Father’s divine love increases such that I am in intimate contact with my brothers and sisters, sharing my life the way Jesus shared his. Blessings.
Thank you, Sherry. My sympathies with your loss. Your constant commitment to our Father’s will and your embrace of Jesus’ way of love inspire me and give me light in this dark world.
As always, Jeff, I am inspired by your enthusiasm for truth, beauty, and goodness. As I celebrate the life of my earthly Father as he makes his way to our Heavenly Father and grieve the temporary loss of his presence, I can attest that when I am living my best life, I am loving and being loved. My will is aligned with the Father’s will at all times, under all circumstances, and my desire to represent the Father’s divine love increases such that I am in intimate contact with my brothers and sisters, sharing my life the way Jesus shared his. Blessings.
Thank you, Sherry. My sympathies with your loss. Your constant commitment to our Father’s will and your embrace of Jesus’ way of love inspire me and give me light in this dark world.
When I am at my best, I feel integrated, complete, and this feeling comes when I am truly helping someone with something that they need help with, and I realized that by helping them I am helping the heavenly Father reveal himself.
Dr. Perry, I have always respected you and your ability to express core truth. Thank you for contributing this statement, which helps me with something I need help with and reveals the heavenly Father himself.
When I am at my best, I feel integrated, complete, and this feeling comes when I am truly helping someone with something that they need help with, and I realized that by helping them I am helping the heavenly Father reveal himself.
Dr. Perry, I have always respected you and your ability to express core truth. Thank you for contributing this statement, which helps me with something I need help with and reveals the heavenly Father himself.
I think that the best moments of my life have been connected with my home/family, friends, hobbies. At home when you have done something with your own hands, you have tried to do something beautiful and you have been lucky with it. When you understand your wife without words and everything is going well, when you see how your children are growing and when you feel your role there, you have got your experience as a father and you understand that.
Sometimes it is nice to feel that you have taken something on your “shoulders”, you have done something for others, you have helped them without they have asked. Sometimes is good to do something new, to show others that it is possible. And understand what is father`s will.
Thank you, Karmo. Your comment came in as I was working on the post for tomorrow, and it fits perfectly.
I think that the best moments of my life have been connected with my home/family, friends, hobbies. At home when you have done something with your own hands, you have tried to do something beautiful and you have been lucky with it. When you understand your wife without words and everything is going well, when you see how your children are growing and when you feel your role there, you have got your experience as a father and you understand that.
Sometimes it is nice to feel that you have taken something on your “shoulders”, you have done something for others, you have helped them without they have asked. Sometimes is good to do something new, to show others that it is possible. And understand what is father`s will.
Thank you, Karmo. Your comment came in as I was working on the post for tomorrow, and it fits perfectly.
Philosophy, to me represents the bedrock thinking, feeling, and acting. The understanding of a person’s philosophy allows you to know them better and therefore, attempt the reciprocation of love.
Thanks, Bernie, for your interesting comment. I really like the idea of understanding a person’s philosophy as a component of understanding the person! The philosophy of living set forth here makes choices that others could do differently. I remember once teaching The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus and discovering that this atheist philosopher’s writing lent itself to analysis in terms of the very same categories used here. Many people report having simpler philosophies: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Or “The only disability is a bad attitude.” I believe that it is indeed possible to summarize one’s philosophy very simply; but the one you’ll be developing here enfolds more complexity in it.
Dearest Jeff,
This idea was really conceived of because I have met with some who would discount the validity of philosophy as a matter of contention, rather than disclose what they really think because of the idea that disclosure would make them vulnerable, and therefore weaker. I think these persons who deny openness and forthrightness cause the personality to be unbalanced and therefore a hindrance to our collective maturity. They live with a misnomer within their mind.
( A misnomer is a word or term that suggests a meaning that is known to be wrong. Misnomers often arise because the thing named received its name long before its true nature was known. A misnomer may also be simply a word that is used incorrectly or misleadingly.) In my humble opinion, this may be fundamental in the Atheist, and the Skeptic, both of whom basically would deny the efficacy of faith. So I have used mathematics as a way into logical thought when I come across this type of thinker. What is the lowest common denominator, between us all? I have suggested that eating, sleeping, working, playing, that all of these are the common denominators of religion. Of course even mentioning the word religion elicits a response from these type of thinkers. Here is the real question, what is your religion? Response “I have no religion”. So redefining the word religion in an acceptable way was the purpose of changing the traditional meaning into everyday terminology. I have for over thirty years now used this as my definition of religion… Religion is a species of conduct predicated upon what a person believes. From this vantage point you can possible have dialogue with regards Philosophy and then Religion.
Your way of raising a question and then defining what you mean strikes me as excellent! You say, “Religion is a species of conduct predicated upon what a person believes.” On the one hand, religion cannot be defined, because it is relation to what is beyond all definition. On the other hand there are many definitions of religion. Some of them rely on a paradigm (whether that paradigm is cherished or rejected) such as Christianity; and some definitions aim to state the function(s) of religion. Your definition is a useful functional definition. Thank you very much.
Truth orients thinking; beauty orients feeling; and goodness orients doing. Sometimes truth, beauty, and goodness seem like simple lumps; but when we consider the varieties of thinking, feeling, and doing, we suspect the complexity implicit in these three great values.
Philosophy, to me represents the bedrock thinking, feeling, and acting. The understanding of a person’s philosophy allows you to know them better and therefore, attempt the reciprocation of love.
Thanks, Bernie, for your interesting comment. I really like the idea of understanding a person’s philosophy as a component of understanding the person! The philosophy of living set forth here makes choices that others could do differently. I remember once teaching The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus and discovering that this atheist philosopher’s writing lent itself to analysis in terms of the very same categories used here. Many people report having simpler philosophies: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Or “The only disability is a bad attitude.” I believe that it is indeed possible to summarize one’s philosophy very simply; but the one you’ll be developing here enfolds more complexity in it.
Dearest Jeff,
This idea was really conceived of because I have met with some who would discount the validity of philosophy as a matter of contention, rather than disclose what they really think because of the idea that disclosure would make them vulnerable, and therefore weaker. I think these persons who deny openness and forthrightness cause the personality to be unbalanced and therefore a hindrance to our collective maturity. They live with a misnomer within their mind.
( A misnomer is a word or term that suggests a meaning that is known to be wrong. Misnomers often arise because the thing named received its name long before its true nature was known. A misnomer may also be simply a word that is used incorrectly or misleadingly.) In my humble opinion, this may be fundamental in the Atheist, and the Skeptic, both of whom basically would deny the efficacy of faith. So I have used mathematics as a way into logical thought when I come across this type of thinker. What is the lowest common denominator, between us all? I have suggested that eating, sleeping, working, playing, that all of these are the common denominators of religion. Of course even mentioning the word religion elicits a response from these type of thinkers. Here is the real question, what is your religion? Response “I have no religion”. So redefining the word religion in an acceptable way was the purpose of changing the traditional meaning into everyday terminology. I have for over thirty years now used this as my definition of religion… Religion is a species of conduct predicated upon what a person believes. From this vantage point you can possible have dialogue with regards Philosophy and then Religion.
Your way of raising a question and then defining what you mean strikes me as excellent! You say, “Religion is a species of conduct predicated upon what a person believes.” On the one hand, religion cannot be defined, because it is relation to what is beyond all definition. On the other hand there are many definitions of religion. Some of them rely on a paradigm (whether that paradigm is cherished or rejected) such as Christianity; and some definitions aim to state the function(s) of religion. Your definition is a useful functional definition. Thank you very much.
Truth orients thinking; beauty orients feeling; and goodness orients doing. Sometimes truth, beauty, and goodness seem like simple lumps; but when we consider the varieties of thinking, feeling, and doing, we suspect the complexity implicit in these three great values.
My experience it’s been that when true intentions are directed through our liberated channels of creative imagination,new realities gradually sink in,and when are recognized by our inner life,they become validations of living the purpose of life at its fullest.
Martin, thank you for adding a profound thought to this conversation. I associate your thought with Pat’s comment on the previous post about visualization. There are two kinds of visualization: the first is what the human mind generates; the second is given by the divine spirit within. Your creative imagination allows divine realities to manifest, and these validate your sincere purpose.
My experience it’s been that when true intentions are directed through our liberated channels of creative imagination,new realities gradually sink in,and when are recognized by our inner life,they become validations of living the purpose of life at its fullest.
Martin, thank you for adding a profound thought to this conversation. I associate your thought with Pat’s comment on the previous post about visualization. There are two kinds of visualization: the first is what the human mind generates; the second is given by the divine spirit within. Your creative imagination allows divine realities to manifest, and these validate your sincere purpose.
I am living at my best when I am with people who are willing to grow in their perception of truth, beauty, and goodness. This enables me to engage in intelligent conversation and positive action.
You are right, Marc. The topics in these realms of value (truth, beauty, and goodness), topics that I’ll begin introducing on Monday, make very good conversation, indeed.
I am living at my best when I am with people who are willing to grow in their perception of truth, beauty, and goodness. This enables me to engage in intelligent conversation and positive action.
You are right, Marc. The topics in these realms of value (truth, beauty, and goodness), topics that I’ll begin introducing on Monday, make very good conversation, indeed.
“Physical life is characterized by defensiveness, whereas spiritual life is just the opposite.” -Eben Alexander
When I first came across this sentence, it had such a strong resonance that I kept going back to it, trying to discern the meaning I was relating to so strongly on the level of feeling. Like Scott, who posted the first comment to this blog, my perceptions have often been clouded by self-doubt (rooted in shame from early abuse), that manifested for me into a self-limiting self-focus that I now identify as chronic defensiveness. When I am at my best–that is, when I am feeling secure in my worth because I am able to let love in–I am liberated from self-protectiveness, and free to let love out. What a meaningful blog, Jeff!
“Physical life is characterized by defensiveness, whereas spiritual life is just the opposite.” -Eben Alexander
When I first came across this sentence, it had such a strong resonance that I kept going back to it, trying to discern the meaning I was relating to so strongly on the level of feeling. Like Scott, who posted the first comment to this blog, my perceptions have often been clouded by self-doubt (rooted in shame from early abuse), that manifested for me into a self-limiting self-focus that I now identify as chronic defensiveness. When I am at my best–that is, when I am feeling secure in my worth because I am able to let love in–I am liberated from self-protectiveness, and free to let love out. What a meaningful blog, Jeff!
What is it like when you are living at your best? There is a direct connection with living at your best and seeing your best intentions come into life. There is a lot of preliminaries that go into achieving “your best”, for example when I was wrestling in HS I always performed better when I was calm and cool about a match than when I was overly excited, or anxious. There was a balance of readiness, willingness, and abandon, all mixed up to produce what I considered my best performances. The same is true now, I have to be ever-present (readiness), sincere (willingness) and faith based in the overcare of my life (abandon). Three legs hold the stool together
Bernie, you have given one of my favorite examples of excellent preparation for a particular type of material challenge, leading to the development of skills that transfer to the rest of life.
What is it like when you are living at your best? There is a direct connection with living at your best and seeing your best intentions come into life. There is a lot of preliminaries that go into achieving “your best”, for example when I was wrestling in HS I always performed better when I was calm and cool about a match than when I was overly excited, or anxious. There was a balance of readiness, willingness, and abandon, all mixed up to produce what I considered my best performances. The same is true now, I have to be ever-present (readiness), sincere (willingness) and faith based in the overcare of my life (abandon). Three legs hold the stool together
Bernie, you have given one of my favorite examples of excellent preparation for a particular type of material challenge, leading to the development of skills that transfer to the rest of life.
The two examples of living at my best that come to mind are, first, a trip I took on Amtrak from Maryland a couple of years ago to New York with the intent of walking through Riverside Park on the Upper West Side, a neighborhood where I lived with my wife and family for many years in the 70s and 80s. It was my first trip back there since I lost her to cancer in 2010, and, having struggled unsuccessfully for a long time to complete a song I had been writing in her memory, I was hoping that the train ride might provide some inspiration. As I watched the Chesapeake Bay roll by, I gradually found myself in a quiet, meditative setting (it was luckily a quiet car), and, for the first time in years, I was able to focus my attention and let the words come. It was unrelenting work during the three or so hours each way, but I finally finished and ultimately recorded the song (which I’d be happy to share with anyone interested) and felt a sense of wholeness I hadn’t felt in a long time just by leaving a gift to someone I loved.
The other example of being at my best was during a visit my elder son and I took in January to take part in a group session with about ten other families at the rehab facility where my younger son was recovering from a heroin addiction. As emotionally wrenching, intense, and exhausting as the three day session was, it was incredibly inspiring to experience firsthand what expert and caring facilitation, parent and offspring interaction, and group feedback can do to further recovery for one of the most devastating addictions in our country these days. By the end of the session, I not only felt closer to my own family than ever before but also shared more bonds with total strangers than with many people I’ve known for years.
Having heard your excellent music, Art, I would be most grateful for your sharing it with me. Since you are offering this song to anyone interested, I’ll include your e-mail address: aspencer45@verizon.net. Turning to what you wrote, first of all let me express my sympathy for your unfathomable loss. I’m so glad that you made this trip of memory, found the meditative quiet needed for creative incubation, and invested the effort needed to bring forth something worthy. I’m also profoundly moved by what you shared about your younger son and what you learned in that group setting, forging remarkable bonds. I speak of the joy of the new and better way of living, and your stories are stories of joy; but that joy is born of coping in the darkness, the agony, the struggle. When we can appropriately keep these dimensions together, depth flourishes, and everything is transformed in its own season.
The two examples of living at my best that come to mind are, first, a trip I took on Amtrak from Maryland a couple of years ago to New York with the intent of walking through Riverside Park on the Upper West Side, a neighborhood where I lived with my wife and family for many years in the 70s and 80s. It was my first trip back there since I lost her to cancer in 2010, and, having struggled unsuccessfully for a long time to complete a song I had been writing in her memory, I was hoping that the train ride might provide some inspiration. As I watched the Chesapeake Bay roll by, I gradually found myself in a quiet, meditative setting (it was luckily a quiet car), and, for the first time in years, I was able to focus my attention and let the words come. It was unrelenting work during the three or so hours each way, but I finally finished and ultimately recorded the song (which I’d be happy to share with anyone interested) and felt a sense of wholeness I hadn’t felt in a long time just by leaving a gift to someone I loved.
The other example of being at my best was during a visit my elder son and I took in January to take part in a group session with about ten other families at the rehab facility where my younger son was recovering from a heroin addiction. As emotionally wrenching, intense, and exhausting as the three day session was, it was incredibly inspiring to experience firsthand what expert and caring facilitation, parent and offspring interaction, and group feedback can do to further recovery for one of the most devastating addictions in our country these days. By the end of the session, I not only felt closer to my own family than ever before but also shared more bonds with total strangers than with many people I’ve known for years.
Having heard your excellent music, Art, I would be most grateful for your sharing it with me. Since you are offering this song to anyone interested, I’ll include your e-mail address: aspencer45@verizon.net. Turning to what you wrote, first of all let me express my sympathy for your unfathomable loss. I’m so glad that you made this trip of memory, found the meditative quiet needed for creative incubation, and invested the effort needed to bring forth something worthy. I’m also profoundly moved by what you shared about your younger son and what you learned in that group setting, forging remarkable bonds. I speak of the joy of the new and better way of living, and your stories are stories of joy; but that joy is born of coping in the darkness, the agony, the struggle. When we can appropriately keep these dimensions together, depth flourishes, and everything is transformed in its own season.
Dr Wattles,
I am thankful for this opportunity to interact and participate with you and all the rest in this wonderful learning experience. Thank you for making this possible. I think for myself when I contemplate those times when I have experienced living at my best I have felt an almost indescribable peace and sense of well-being; you could say a taste of heaven on earth, which includes a genuine feeling of love and clarity of understanding; not only of myself and God’s purposes, but also of and for others. I believe that living at my best involves a deep and healthy respect for the value, agency and identity of others; an alignment of my own desires, thoughts, and actions in fulfilling my true potential, and in my being able to let go of any negative/destructive elements in and around me, having absolute faith and trust in the Lord that He is making this all possible through His eternal love, gifts and sacrifice. I am so thankful for the glimpses of eternity which have opened up to each one of us – giving us hope for the future and joy in the present. As you have said, this is a life-long process of learning to increase in truth, beauty, and goodness.
Rich, what a pleasure to receive your wide-ranging and insightful comment! I want to dwell for a moment on this alignment of all aspects of the self. Thus aligned, our physical energies are subordinated to spirit, and the mind functions as an arena where we make decisions to carry out the will of God as we are given to discern it. We thereby align with divine destiny and the eternal structure of reality, to experience which is beauty itself. Best wishes to you in every step along your way.
Dr Wattles,
I am thankful for this opportunity to interact and participate with you and all the rest in this wonderful learning experience. Thank you for making this possible. I think for myself when I contemplate those times when I have experienced living at my best I have felt an almost indescribable peace and sense of well-being; you could say a taste of heaven on earth, which includes a genuine feeling of love and clarity of understanding; not only of myself and God’s purposes, but also of and for others. I believe that living at my best involves a deep and healthy respect for the value, agency and identity of others; an alignment of my own desires, thoughts, and actions in fulfilling my true potential, and in my being able to let go of any negative/destructive elements in and around me, having absolute faith and trust in the Lord that He is making this all possible through His eternal love, gifts and sacrifice. I am so thankful for the glimpses of eternity which have opened up to each one of us – giving us hope for the future and joy in the present. As you have said, this is a life-long process of learning to increase in truth, beauty, and goodness.
Rich, what a pleasure to receive your wide-ranging and insightful comment! I want to dwell for a moment on this alignment of all aspects of the self. Thus aligned, our physical energies are subordinated to spirit, and the mind functions as an arena where we make decisions to carry out the will of God as we are given to discern it. We thereby align with divine destiny and the eternal structure of reality, to experience which is beauty itself. Best wishes to you in every step along your way.
For me life at its best is rare.
Most years life branches too fast and runs to leaves; other times it has slowed and run to weeds. Only occasionally is there a memorable harvest, not every season but often enough to give the faith needed for planting.
In its season, life at its best is always sweetened by an air of eternal goodness and made wonderful by some miracle of harmony, fellowship, and creative purposes shared.
There is always sincerity, honesty, appreciation of some brilliant flash of personality’s infinite depths, and then in hindsight I usually recognize the feeling that I have enjoyed a brush with truth.
There is always sense of attainment but no sense of finality, a last note neither closes the curtain nor brings down the house, but always opens up some door, affording a glimpse of higher destiny in the form of new or expanded ideals.
Thank you, John, for this poetic expression of insight. Yes, indeed: a memorable harvest does indeed nourish faith. You describe it very well.
For me life at its best is rare.
Most years life branches too fast and runs to leaves; other times it has slowed and run to weeds. Only occasionally is there a memorable harvest, not every season but often enough to give the faith needed for planting.
In its season, life at its best is always sweetened by an air of eternal goodness and made wonderful by some miracle of harmony, fellowship, and creative purposes shared.
There is always sincerity, honesty, appreciation of some brilliant flash of personality’s infinite depths, and then in hindsight I usually recognize the feeling that I have enjoyed a brush with truth.
There is always sense of attainment but no sense of finality, a last note neither closes the curtain nor brings down the house, but always opens up some door, affording a glimpse of higher destiny in the form of new or expanded ideals.
Thank you, John, for this poetic expression of insight. Yes, indeed: a memorable harvest does indeed nourish faith. You describe it very well.
To expand on my brief post at the start of this discussion… I don’t think any discussion of “living the truth” can be complete without a focus on humility. I have been blessed to learn an approach to humility through my own disturbed early life as well as through contact with an advanced spirit brother/father/mentor, Fr. Bob Schurer.
In my earlier post I mentioned that I struggled early in life with a self-doubt, self-hate, self-consciousness and quick-to-judge mental habits that I applied to myself and others. Surely this is not prescription for happiness! And, out of my misery grew the determination to recover. In my recovery, I found the opposite of self-hate — self-love.
But, through my continued recovery and spiritual growth, and from my close contact with Fr. Bob, I found that the TRUE POLAR OPPOSITE of self-hate was not self-love, but humility–perhaps described as self-indifference.
Besides it being the height of irony for me to say that I have established a life of humility :-), it would also be incorrect! But, in my best moments I am becoming less and less focused on my personal role in the conduct of the affairs I am involved in.
Just today my friend Howard posted, “I believe the important feature of those experiences is to follow our guides (our [God Within]) and fear no danger. We alternately lead and are led regarding our living evolving fellows. But a perfected Jesus, our loving Master and Shepherd, bids us thus ‘Follow me.’ What a joyful admonition in our pilgrim progress.”
It is joy-producing, for sure, to turn on our auto-pilot and be in the moment and be self-forgetting enough to allow the God within to shine the light on our path.
Scott, this is a heartwarming and insightful story of personal discovery. Self-love cannot do for us what God’s love can do. Humility opens us to receive his love and pass it on–as you do by sharing!
To expand on my brief post at the start of this discussion… I don’t think any discussion of “living the truth” can be complete without a focus on humility. I have been blessed to learn an approach to humility through my own disturbed early life as well as through contact with an advanced spirit brother/father/mentor, Fr. Bob Schurer.
In my earlier post I mentioned that I struggled early in life with a self-doubt, self-hate, self-consciousness and quick-to-judge mental habits that I applied to myself and others. Surely this is not prescription for happiness! And, out of my misery grew the determination to recover. In my recovery, I found the opposite of self-hate — self-love.
But, through my continued recovery and spiritual growth, and from my close contact with Fr. Bob, I found that the TRUE POLAR OPPOSITE of self-hate was not self-love, but humility–perhaps described as self-indifference.
Besides it being the height of irony for me to say that I have established a life of humility :-), it would also be incorrect! But, in my best moments I am becoming less and less focused on my personal role in the conduct of the affairs I am involved in.
Just today my friend Howard posted, “I believe the important feature of those experiences is to follow our guides (our [God Within]) and fear no danger. We alternately lead and are led regarding our living evolving fellows. But a perfected Jesus, our loving Master and Shepherd, bids us thus ‘Follow me.’ What a joyful admonition in our pilgrim progress.”
It is joy-producing, for sure, to turn on our auto-pilot and be in the moment and be self-forgetting enough to allow the God within to shine the light on our path.
Scott, this is a heartwarming and insightful story of personal discovery. Self-love cannot do for us what God’s love can do. Humility opens us to receive his love and pass it on–as you do by sharing!