We could simply say “give.” “Bestow” is a word with more grandeur; it connotes a very special gift.
Our most unique and total gift is to bestow ourselves.
Jesus bestowed himself to reveal the Father to the people of this world (at least). He did not merely publish content. Most of all, he gave a life.
We can do this too.
Parker Palmer describes circles of trust in which people refrain from trying to save the other person. His book on this topic is Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life—Welcoming the Soul and Weaving Community in a Wounded World. He describes what I call evangelism as assault. It makes the other person’s soul run for cover.
What if you have truth that another person needs. Can you simply give that to the other? What if the person is not receptive—or might not be receptive. In order to promote discovery, what will you do? How can you whet the other person’s appetite for what you want to give? Most of all, it is your life, your beautiful wholeness of righteousness.
Of course there is more to say. In the normal back-and-forth of ordinary socialization you pick up on the facts and meanings and values that are implicit in the other person’s way of being and expressions. You inquire in an open-ended way. You probe. You ask questions that go beyond what Parker Palmer is describing and indirectly communicate a bit of teaching. You may teach the most by saying very little.
If you are loving, interested, sincere in your desire to know the other, a keen, discerning, and appreciative listener, and if you question in a way that facilitates the other person’s sharing, the first benefit is that the other person has a chance to reveal him- or herself in uncommon fullness. The second benefit is that you receive the treasure of that self-revelation—not just of the other person’s ideas and material or social emotions, but a revelation at the level of the soul, the other person’s deeper self, the true self. You can never be the same after truly glimpsing another one of the Father’s creations: a unique, spiritually indwelt personality!
And there is more. Having blessed the other by your way of being and your tasty morsels of teaching, the other person may come to you with questions. And then you can get to know the other person better and give the morsel they are ready to receive for the next stage of their growth. Gradually their mind becomes more attuned with the larger gift you may have in mind. The more you grow, the more adequate will be your cooperation with the spirit in playing this sacred game.
The rhythm is totally different. We do not come on as someone shot from a cannon, with the explosive and aggressive display of one’s bursting desire to “give” what we “know” the other person really needs. Rather, we relax in trust.
Bestow yourself.
Photo Credit. By Unknown – helveticarchives.ch; Swiss National Library, Prints and Drawings Department, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=38111683
Brother Jeff,
May I add that, in my experience, the truth you describe here is born of a patient and mature foresight, even wisdom. Early in our development, having tasted the initial rewards of yielding to spirit leading, we are all too often precipitous in our enthusiasm to share our insights. And so, while I agree fully with the points of your article, I wonder if such a far-seeing perspective can actually be “taught” or must it ripen with the passage of time?
All good blessings, Bob Ghen Sr.
Beloved Bob, thanks for your insightful comment. It took me 71 years to get this insight clearly, and I’m just a beginner with it–as of this morning. I’ve heard it said that in the most effective sermons you’re preaching to yourself. The caricatured evangelist is the old Jeff. Smiles.
When I was a medical student, one of my professors used to always say over and over again, “Listen to the patient, he/she is telling you the diagnosis (telling you what is wrong with him/her). Years later this thought came back to mind as I sought to apply it to my efforts to reveal some aspect of truth that I discerned the brother or sister needed.
It becomes apparent that first of all we must listen to what the person is saying, to listen with appreciation and understanding. After this is done often times it appears that nothing else needs to be said, for the sympathetic and empathetic listening has somehow triggered a revelation within their own soul, and they have received that which that needed; thus often the ones you teach the most, you say the least.
It is true sometimes, that the person may comeback for more instructions. I have often observed that many years later, the person has often thanks me for something that I said or did, which I have no memory of.
I thank that sometimes we try to force truth into a person’s souls who has no desire for it or no current capacity for the truth we wish to give. In all such matters, we must patiently wait until “the apple is ripe and falls from the tree.”
Thank you Brother Jeff for sharing this thoughtful post. It brings back a lot of memories of truth given and truth received.
Dr. Perry
As usual, Dr. Perry, your thoughts nicely complement my own.
The view of Faith in scriptures does differ from the ideology of Christians but in a very limited sense it is still the same. Who has real genuine faith if the one has not discovered its truer definition. At least they must be willing to be focused on what faith is and what it is not.
Herein the dictionary definitions faith as a belief seems placid and superficial, however the bible tries to the describe it more as conditions that is hoped for in faith. Making it far away and aloof, perhaps intangible.
After Jesus teachings that the seed that is of the smallest size, as a grain that which grows up to be the giant mustered tree. Is that faith that waters that sprouts and grows up as the tree unto eternal life. On earth is this like unto eternal life-faith.
Later in the my research, I read that one will have the power to move mountains with this faith. By applying this small measure of faith is this wishful thinking faith or dichotomous faith? Similarly, if faith, by such notions of our ancestors suggest in obedience unto faith is that a faith that is subject to obeying the law? Is this law abiding faith?
James in the scriptures in 1: 5 suggest that wisdom is our faith, because he states let us ask god who gives liberally. So god is the granter of wisdom. Is this then the catalyst to a wisdom-faith. A definition of faith as those that follow god a more exacting way can be found in Hebrew 11: 1 . Mormons, Catholics, Christians even Jehovah witnesses, Seven day Adventists all canonized this to depict faith that is something as evidence that is yet unseen but hope for is hopeful-faith?
However this seemingly confrontation with materialism that is not faith, as from the bible a unseen hope how can it be given to an individual from an individual. So faith is definitely not a substance to be given. That would be knowledge-faith. Its a faith of a single source above.
When we do find that faith that is a cornerstone of one’s belief. Is that a faith spiritual bounded by a change in attitude, so is this born again faith.
Not knowing a definition of faith by that means or pointing to once experience of God and things eternal one might call faith a favorable pattern of believing starts out by a believer that is transformed somehow into genuine faith. But that definition would be that faith is a mystery? Then is this a trans-formative faith. Notably, a faith that is real. So we are back to what is faith, and how do you give it a proper definition.
Does one grow faith, or just cultivate its . Cultivating faith. Is that farming- or tilling faith. Since faith is unseen and is granted or bestowed upon you is being spiritual rooted or instilled in you. Is this faith called calculated-faith. Thus the true definition secularists might report as a definition clash with the perceived definition in the Bible.?
Beginning anew in finding what faith is by the individual can be challenging but a rewarding journey, nevertheless. I do hope that all in all that this journey in finding what is the truer definition of faith is a humble step, it might be called humble faith. A calculated-faith, a trans-formative faith, knowledge-faith, a wisdom-faith, a eternal life-faith, law abiding faith, and the belief-faith. I appreciate your time. Winston Tyau yours, truly.
Dear Winston Tyau, thank you for this thoughtful comment which I saw only today. I apologize for my extreme delay. I have just written an email to you at your address above, expressing my willingness to converse with you if you are still interested. Jeff